Rauru at Large
by DeadeyeDave
Summary: Rage Against the Machine's "Calm Like a Bomb." There's not much food-related that rhymes with "bomb" so I went with "pie." Enjoy.
1. Track 1: 'Fridge Raidin' in the Dark

Artist: The Notorious F.A.T.: Flabby-Ass Thug Album: Rauru at Large Parody Title: 'Fridge Raidin' in the Dark Real: "Crawling in the Dark" by Hoobastank  
  
(guitar music)  
  
Rauru: (wearing a bathrobe and holding electric guitar)  
  
I will go downstairs And sacrifice my arter- -ies for just a morsel's worth of my six-foot sub's ending And I wish I could know If all my many midnight raids And the $12.50 that I paid Won't ever fall for nothing  
Show me where it is And if I can eat it Been fridge-raiding in the dark Looking for a sandwich There is always more That I haven't finished Been fridge-raiding in the dark Looking for a sandwich  
  
Help me eat it all Show me that there's just a foot left of that ham and cheese that I ordered Thursday And I wish I could eat The sub's final couple feet Will I ever get to see The ending to my hogie?  
  
Show me where it is And if I can eat it Been fridge-raiding in the dark Looking for a sandwich There is always more That I haven't finished Been fridge-raiding in the dark Looking FOR A SANDWAAAAATCH!  
  
And when I find it will I know? How much further do I have to eat (have to eat) And how much longer it I finally beat (finally beat) 'Cause I'm chewing and I just can't see When the end will be. The end will be!  
  
Show me where it is And if I can eat it Been fridge-raiding in the dark Looking for a sandwich There is always more That I haven't finished Been fridge-raiding in the dark Looking FOR A SANDWAAAAATCH!  
  
(fade to black) 


	2. Track 2: Chubthumping

Track Two: Chubthumping  
  
Author: Rauru  
  
Original: "Tubthumping" by Chumbawumba  
  
(Rauru stands in bathrobe next to refridgerator)  
  
Rauru (singing with quasi-British accent):   
  
My jaw goes down  
  
but it goes up again  
  
to chew up my delicious food  
  
my jaw goes down  
  
but it goes up again  
  
to masticate from night 'till noon  
  
Female Backup Singers:   
  
Snackin' the night away  
  
Snackin' the night away  
  
Rauru:  
  
For a midnight snack  
  
I'm gonna eat a stack  
  
of Pringles from a pack  
  
and have a heart attack  
  
And if the sodium and calories don't do me in,  
  
I'll be back tomorrow night to begin again (gin again)  
  
Female Backup Singers:  
  
Ooooh, Rauru, Rauru, Rauru...  
  
Rauru:   
  
My jaw goes down  
  
but it goes up again  
  
to chew up my delicious food  
  
my jaw goes down  
  
but it goes up again  
  
to masticate from night 'till noon  
  
Female Backup Singers:  
  
We'll be bleatin'  
  
While you're eatin'  
  
We'll be bleatin'  
  
While you're eatin'  
  
Rauru:   
  
I eat the salty food  
  
I eat the sug'ry food  
  
I eat the deep-fried food  
  
I eat the greasy food  
  
I eat the foods that will make my wasteline expand,  
  
I eat the foods 'till I can barely even stand (even stand)  
  
Female Backup Singers:   
  
Don't cry for me,  
  
Pass the gravy  
  
Rauru:  
  
My jaw goes down  
  
but it goes up again  
  
to chew up my delicious food  
  
my jaw goes down  
  
but it goes up again  
  
to masticate from night 'till noon  
  
Female Backup Singers:   
  
We'll be bleatin'  
  
While you're eatin'  
  
We'll be bleatin'  
  
While you're eatin'  
  
(repeat to fade-out) 


	3. Track 3: Gorger's Paradise

Artist: The Notorious F.A.T.: Flabby-Ass Thug Album: Rauru at Large Title: Gorger's Paradise Real: "Gangster's Paradise" by Coolio  
  
(Rauru stands in a darkened kitchen)  
  
As I walk through the kitchen of the darkness of night I take a look at my life, and realize I want a pie 'Cause I've been chewin' and belchin' so long that Even my mama thinks that my feet are gone But I ain't ever touched a treadmill even though I should do it, Bein' treated like a sponge, I know that I blew it, I neva watch my wait even though it'd be best 'Cause pretty soon my heart might be in cardiac arrest I really hate to move, and I eat all night, yo, As my belly grows I see myself in the fridge's light, foo, I'm the real obese tha little sandwich wants ta flee On my knees in tha night eatin' ham in the fridge light  
  
(vaguely female voices going "ooooooooooooh") They've been spendin' most their lives Livin' in a gorger's paradise Been spendin' most their lives Livin' in a gorger's paradise Keep spendin' most our lives Livin' in a gorger's paradise Keep spendin' most our lives Livin' in a gorger's paradise  
  
Look at tha situation, that I'm facin', I can't neva go under 300, no matter how I try, So I just give it up, gorge 'till I drown, Too much Cool-Whip and 'tato chips, keeps me sittin' down, I'm a overstuffed balloon with food on my mind, Got mah spork in my hand an lotsa greasy pizza pie, I'm a sedentary gorgin' gangsta, livin' in languor, I just can't stand up so don' arouse my anger, foo, Death may be another heart attack away I'm livin' life me-eat-dog, what can I say, I'm three-hundred-and-three, will I see three-o-four, The way things is goin' I dunno,  
  
Tell me why are we So inclined to eat 'Cause the ones we hurt Are you and me  
  
They've been spendin' most their lives Livin' in a gorger's paradise Been spendin' most their lives Livin' in a gorger's paradise Keep spendin' most our lives Livin' in a gorger's paradise Keep spendin' most our lives Livin' in a gorger's paradise  
  
Power of tha food, tha food has tha power To keep me eatin' it, eatin' it hour afta hour Everybody's runnin', but I'm still sittin' an' chewin' There in tha kitchen, 'cause all the food is bitchin', They say I gotta diet but nobody's gonna teach me, If they don't understand, how can they reach me? I guess they can't, I guess I'll eat, I can't stop, That's why my gut will always flop, foo  
  
They've been spendin' most their lives Livin' in a gorger's paradise Been spendin' most their lives Livin' in a gorger's paradise Keep spendin' most our lives Livin' in a gorger's paradise Keep spendin' most our lives Livin' in a gorger's paradise  
  
Tell me why are we So inclined to eat 'Cause the ones we hurt Are you and me  
  
Tell me why are we So inclined to eat 'Cause the ones we hurt Are you and me  
  
Ooooooh oooooooohh oh oh oooooooh oooooh oh oh ooooooooooooh oooooh ohh oooooooo ooooh oooooooh. 


	4. Track 4: Under my Bun

Artist: The Notorious F.A.T.: Flabby-Ass Thug  
Album: Rauru at Large  
Title: Under My Bun  
Real: "Under My Thumb" by The Rolling Stones  
(Rauru sits on a huge couch in stained bathrobe, with giant burger in hand,  
as slow guitar rhythm plays)  
(Rauru starts snapping fingers rhythmically)  
Under my bun,  
The sand-wich that I'm wolfing down  
Under my bun,  
The sand-wich that keeps my belly round  
It's time to eat  
The difference in the mustard there  
Time to eat, the time has come  
It's under my bun  
Ain't it the truth babe?  
Under my bun,  
A dee-licious sandwich for me,  
Under my bun,  
A sand-wich that's ready to eat  
It's time to eat, yes it is,  
The way the cheese is just melted  
Time to eat, it has begun  
It's under my bun,  
Yum, yum, the food's all right,  
Under my bun,  
A combo meal, with fries that curl  
Under my bun  
The sweetest...pickles in the world,  
It's time to eat,  
The way the grease rolls off down my hand,  
Time to eat, the time has come,  
It's under my bun  
Ah take it easy babe,  
Yeah  
It's time for meat, oh yeah,  
They way it's fried on the grill so true,  
Time to eat, the meat's well-done,  
It's under my bun  
Yeah, it tastes all right  
Under my bun,  
The meal that's number 3 on the list,  
Under my bun, well I,  
I just can't much resist,  
It's time to eat, oh that's what I said,  
The way it feels as I chew it up  
Time to eat, the time has come  
It's under my bun  
Say it's all right 


	5. Track 5: MasticNations

Artist: The Notorious F.A.T.: Flabby-Ass Thug feat. Link and Ganondorf  
  
Album: Rauru at Large  
  
Title: Mastic-Nation  
  
Real: "Gangsta Nation" by Westside Connection  
  
(Rauru, Link, and Ganondorf are standing in the ghetto of a city in Hyrule, in front of a diner that says "Open 24 Hours," dancing around)  
  
Rauru: (speaking into camera) Consida this an invitation, to mah mastic-nation  
  
Link and Ganondorf: Yum yum yum yum yum yum yum-yum  
  
Rauru: (FatSide)  
  
Link and Ganondorf: Yum yum yum yum yum yum yum-yum  
  
Rauru: (ohh ohh)  
  
Link and Ganondorf: Yum yum yum yum yum yum yum-yum  
  
Rauru: (what what)  
  
Link and Ganondorf: Yum yum yum yum yum yum yum-yum  
  
Yum yum yum yum yum yum yum-yum  
  
Rauru: (yeah yeah)  
  
Link and Ganondorf: Yum yum yum yum yum yum yum-yum Yum yum yum yum yum yum yum-yum Yum yum yum yum yum yum yum-yum  
  
All: This food right here I like a bunch Cafes out here about the lunch These fools out here afraid to munch I have no fear my heart will bust, And in five pounds weight's going up Fools talk real loud but don't eat up When we eat food they run and duck We eat right here, don't press your luck  
  
Link: Homey, I'm tired of these Gerudo walkin' like this, chopin' like this, From the desert when they chalkin' like this Then I go in a hero pose and a sword hack Hittin' 'em back, ain't gonna live through that, He's a dumb-ass Gerudo dumb Ganon be dead, And I don't kick it but bust 'em in green Kokiri threads I'm done movin', I'm clearin' the crowd, It's that evil-bangin' green-hatted Hero of Time y'all, the original  
  
Rauru: Evacuate the kitchen, look here come a blimp Nah, it's the big bad lard-tub Rauru, shrimp I eat like a pig, homey food's what I dig, With enough fat to make a whale look not so big And we numbah one eaters, no, we ain't cheaters, It's real with us partna, real like egg beaters An' Rau' need a snack, something I desire Wit' more grease than an McDonald's deep fat fryer, let's go  
  
All: This food right here I like a bunch Cafes out here about the lunch These fools out here afraid to munch I have no fear my heart will bust, And in five pounds weight's going up Fools talk real loud but don't eat up When we eat food they run and duck We eat right here, don't press your luck  
  
Ganondorf: What the hell is that Link foo' talkin' about? Don't believe the stuff coming out of his mouth We Gerudos' a trick, we gonna stick I don't conversate with Link, he deserves to be hit I don't holla at this Hero, that fight like a sissy Gettin' all kissy with like five little missies (uh!) He's a playa, hellz yeah, but I'm here so I got to be diss-y  
  
Link: Has he seen us? Playa-hater can't see us Hero of Time we the best there is Countless traps and countless dungeons Street monsters get a stabbing when I go lungin' Live by the sword, killin' Wolfols by the score, With a flock of Keese on us cause Ganon don't want more His minions are doomed to pain and obliteration, Cause im'a slay'em for the whole M-Nation, hear?  
  
All: This food right here I like a bunch Cafes out here about the lunch These fools out here afraid to munch I have no fear my heart will bust, And in five pounds weight's going up Fools talk real loud but don't eat up When we eat food they run and duck We eat right here, don't press your luck  
  
Rauru: It's a mastic-nation, if you in, you obese, And the whole world's influenced by the big F.A.T., Now tell the truth gorgers, you don't all like me, Cause I'm really overweight, y'all just like to eat, And while I'm servin' up some dishes of burgers and cheese, Eatin' for tha hood, causing obesity You fools actin' healthy jogging 'round like suckas, Cuz I'm fat 'till the end, little peas are yummers  
  
Ganondorf: One thing I do know, I'm numero uno, Big Gerudo, rap sumo, and you know  
  
Rauru: I'd like to thank the congregation, In my mastication, for the Mastic-Nation  
  
Ganondorf: Yeah I'm hard on 'em, yeah I'm ruthless, That Nabooru chick, she was useless, You know Gerudo tricks, better join up or quit, Cuz it must be an empire with G-dorf leadin' it  
  
All: Yum yum yum yum yum yum yum-yum  
  
Rauru: (speaking over the others) Yo check this out man All: Yum yum yum yum yum yum yum-yum  
  
Rauru: We got a Mastic-Nation goin' down over here,  
  
All: Yum yum yum yum yum yum yum-yum  
  
Rauru: So y'all might as well eat up  
  
All: Yum yum yum yum yum yum yum-yum  
  
Rauru: And join this Fatside thang man  
  
All: Yum yum yum yum yum yum yum-yum  
  
Rauru: Cause once you get with this  
  
All: Yum yum yum yum yum yum yum-yum  
  
Rauru: Partna, you as F.A.T. as can be  
  
All: Yum yum yum yum yum yum yum-yum  
  
Rauru: Believe that homefry, it's like that  
  
All: Yum yum yum yum yum yum yum-yum  
  
Rauru: Steak sandwich, what I tell you homey  
  
All: Yum yum yum yum yum yum yum-yum  
  
Rauru: It ain't a meal 'till Rauru's droolin' on it  
  
All: This food right here I like a bunch Cafes out here about the lunch These fools out here afraid to munch I have no fear my heart will bust, And in five pounds weight's going up Fools talk real loud but don't eat up When we eat food they run and duck We eat right here, don't press your luck  
  
Yum yum yum yum yum yum yum-yum Yum yum yum yum yum yum yum-yum Yum yum yum yum yum yum yum-yum Yum yum yum yum yum yum yum-yum (Consida this an invitation, to mah mastic-nation) Yum yum yum yum yum yum yum-yum Yum yum yum yum yum yum yum-yum Yum yum yum yum yum yum yum-yum Yum yum yum yum yum yum yum-yum 


	6. Track 6: You Can't Always Get What You W...

Artist: The Notorious F.A.T.: Flabby-Ass Thug  
  
Album: Rauru at Large  
  
Title: You Can't Always Eat What You Want Real: "You Can't Always Get What You Want" by The Rolling Stones  
  
(chorus) I saw her today in my kitchen A bunch of food in her hand I knew that my meal would be bitchin' On her shelves was some honey ham  
  
You can't always eat what you want No you can't always eat what you want You can't always eat what you want But if you're fat like I'm, you'll find, You eat all you see  
  
(guitar strumming starts up)  
  
Rauru I saw her today in my kitchen A bunch of food in her hand I knew that my meal would be bitchin' On her shelves was some honey ham  
  
You can't always eat what you want You can't always eat what you want You can't always eat what you want But if you're fat like I'm, you might find, You eat all you see  
  
Ah, baby, yeah  
  
I went to the delicatessen To get my share of calories Sayin' "You don't know with whom you're messin'," "I'm gonna buy all your ham and start to eat,"  
  
You can't always eat what you want You can't always eat what you want You can't always eat what you want But if you're fat like I'm, well you just might find, You eat all you see  
  
I went down to the Hyrule market To get food to fill you with I was standing in line with the King Zora And man he was huge in width We decided that we would eat a sandwich My favorite kind grilled ham-and-cheese I asked what kind of bread King Zora wanted He said one thing and 'twas "Whole-wheat" I said to him  
  
You can't always eat what you want You can't always eat what you want You can't always eat what you want But if you're fat like I'm, you just might find, You eat all you see  
  
Ooooh, yeah! Woo! You eat what you see!  
  
I saw her today in my kitchen In her veggie crisper were some beets She was practiced at the art of refrigeration I could tell by her lack of heat  
  
You can't always eat what you want You can't always eat what you want You can't always eat what you want But if you're fat like I'm, well you just might find, You just might find, ya find You eat all you see  
  
You can't always eat what you want You can't always eat what you want You can't always eat what you want But if you're fat like I'm, well you just might find, You just might find, ya find You eat all you see 


	7. Track 7: Eat Up

Artist: The Notorious F.A.T.: Flabby-Ass Thug  
  
Album: Rauru at Large  
  
Title: Eat Up  
  
Real: "Stand Up" by Ludacris  
  
(Rauru is at a diner, sitting at a giant table full of roast turkeys, spare ribs, whole pigs  
  
with apples in mouths, etc., flanked by Zelda, Malon, Nabooru, Impa, and co., who are in  
  
tight clothes and wearing bibs.)  
  
Rauru:  
  
Eat up!  
  
Eat up!  
  
Eat up!  
  
Rauru + LoZ girls:  
  
When I chew you chew (just like that?)  
  
When I chew you chew (just like that?)  
  
When I chew you chew (just like that?)  
  
Hell yeah! 'Ey waitress! Bring a snack!  
  
When I chew you chew (just like that?)  
  
When I chew you chew (just like that?)  
  
When I chew you chew (just like that?)  
  
(Hell yeah! 'Ey waitress! Bring a snack!)  
  
Rauru:  
  
Bring out a plate of FUDGE, bitch, out to me  
  
You the goddamn reason I don't get to eat  
  
Crack a can of beef stew over medium heat,  
  
So fat my gut can stop a Boeing 714,  
  
YUM! We ain't got nothin' to worry about,  
  
Chow down, Heimlich'll get that bone out  
  
Watch out for this flab, man, my abdomen's reckless  
  
Feels like I got a BEAN-BAG CHAIR below my necklace  
  
I pulled up in a flatbed towed by a dozen trucks  
  
Lookin', feelin', smellin' like a bag of Chupa Chups-Mmm!  
  
Pass the dressing, the grease is on,  
  
We at the table all eatin' that filet mignon  
  
What's wrong? You say that your gut is full?  
  
Well I'm looking for some LEFTovers to pull  
  
You ain't gonna finish that, I'll take it off yo hands,  
  
Take note, I'ma pop my pants, like this  
  
When I chew you chew (just like that?)  
  
When I chew you chew (just like that?)  
  
When I chew you chew (just like that?)  
  
Hell yeah! 'Ey waitress! Bring a snack!  
  
When I chew you chew (just like that?)  
  
When I chew you chew (just like that?)  
  
When I chew you chew (just like that?)  
  
(Hell yeah! 'Ey waitress! Bring a snack!)  
  
I sit down on ma big ass! Lemme see a menu!  
  
Tell yo little cook he can make one of everything he can do!  
  
I'm fat and I don't care what no one say,  
  
But where's my goddamn waitress with my nacho tray?  
  
My food is on my plate and I slide it on in  
  
I gon' gorge till I'm stuffed and I pity the thin,  
  
The chef already pissed cause I ordered so much  
  
But I haven't eaten in hours and I'm starving for lunch  
  
Most dishes lookin' right some lookin' a mess  
  
That's why I wear a bib so I don't stain my dress  
  
Order chicken, ham and cheese all over the breasts,  
  
That's Chicken Cordon Bleu that I put to the test-Mmm  
  
C'mon! We gon' chow tonight  
  
Y'all use food-to-mouth, nothin' "low fat" or "lite,"  
  
Don't be scared, the defibrillator's right in sight,  
  
If you have a heart attack you'a be all right  
  
When I chew you chew (just like that?)  
  
When I chew you chew (just like that?)  
  
When I chew you chew (just like that?)  
  
Hell yeah! 'Ey waitress! Bring a snack!  
  
When I chew you chew (just like that?)  
  
When I chew you chew (just like that?)  
  
When I chew you chew (just like that?)  
  
(Hell yeah! 'Ey waitress! Bring a snack!)  
  
Eat up!  
  
Eat up!  
  
Damn right the grocery store wanna shut us down!  
  
We be eatin' all they got and they run outta town!  
  
I was two rolls away from runnin' out of butta,  
  
Now I one roll away from blowin' my gut up  
  
Move over! Ru's got something to say  
  
Do it now 'cause I might have a stroke today  
  
Eat wit me! Let's become one wit the meat  
  
An' don' worry if you soon can't see yo' own feet  
  
When I chew you chew (just like that?)  
  
When I chew you chew (just like that?)  
  
When I chew you chew (just like that?)  
  
Hell yeah! 'Ey waitress! Bring a snack!  
  
When I chew you chew (just like that?)  
  
When I chew you chew (just like that?)  
  
When I chew you chew (just like that?)  
  
(Hell yeah! 'Ey waitress! Bring a snack!)  
  
Eat up! Eat up!  
  
Eat up! Eat up!  
  
Eat up! (just like that?)  
  
Eat up! (just like that?)  
  
Eat up! Eat up! 


	8. Track 8: I'm Fat

Artist: The Notorious F.A.T.: Flabby-Ass Thug

Album: Rauru at Large

Title: I'm Fat

Real: "I'm Back" by Eminem

(Rauru, clutching mic, backwards baseball cap, phat pants, etc.)

That's why they call me real obese, I'm fat, I'm fat,

That's why they call me real obese, I'm fat, I'm fat,

That's why they call me real obese, I'm fat, I'm fat,

That's why they call me real obese, I'm fat, I'm fat,

I gorge when I dine, one bite at a time,

You never, seen a waistline as enormous as mine

You better, get rid of that diet, it ain't gonna fly,

What good's it gonna do against a man that butters his pie?

I need triple by-pass just to stay alive,

Manicotti, you're safe for a time, be thankful I'm full

I used to be a Health and Fitness poster boy at 112,

At 113 I was puttin' shellfish in my head by the pail

I usedta, get punked and bullied 'bout my weight

'Fore I put this kid's dog in the microwave and made doggie steak

I used to jog a mile, now I jog a mile less

What do I think of carb-less? It sucks,

Too much stress, my heart'd regress, it's best, I guess

I must've just fattened up quick (yes)

Eatin' Bisquik (no)

Never eat right

Whatever I eat's wrong, whatever they say's right

You think of my name now whenever you say "dins"

Dealin' with obesity 'cuz I'm never T. H. I. N.,

F. A. T. cuz Food Channel TV is so yummy to me

My health's a casualty

Was that snack worth it?

Look at my gut, how is this perfect?

Feed my lips, bitch, what, my mouth overworkin'?

You see this waffle-maker upside down?

When the little light is on I'll take it out and chow down

That's why they call me real obese, I'm fat, I'm fat,

That's why they call me real obese, I'm fat, I'm fat,

That's why they call me real obese, I'm fat, I'm fat,

That's why they call me real obese, I'm fat, I'm fat,

I take each individual Chee-tos bag and tuck into it

Just to see if these orange fingers'll be a fashion statement in the future

And if you feed me this snack I'm an innocent victim

And become a lump on the couch in my living room

MMM YUM-YUMMERS! My name is Rauru

I've been bloated way before eating was all I had to do

The Sun Chips sensation THIS IS THE LOW-CALORIE

With Frito-Lay who gives me all things edible

It's, nacho cheez, on the, sofa grooves

Want ta, clean it up but don't, want ta move

It's a, gluttonous world we live in these days

RAURU, FOR PETE'S SAKE, PUT DOWN THE CRÈME BROULEE!

Geez! You guys are so sensitive

Rauru, it's a health issue, try to avoid desserts

Stomach with no food in it,

I get so frenetic cuz

I'm blind with hunger, cuz

In my kitchen, filled with kinds of food

In there doin' links of sausage

Then waddlin' back and sitting down all full and fat

MMM, that's where I get my gut from

That's why they call

They call me real obese, I'm fat, I'm fat,

That's why they call me real obese, I'm fat, I'm fat,

That's why they call me real obese, I'm fat, I'm fat,

That's why they call me real obese, I'm fat, I'm fat,

I take seven cans of Sprite, stand 'em all in line,

Add some honey-glazed ham, a roast beef and a lime

Some mashed potatoes and that oughtta solve that problem of mine

And that's just a snack, you should see dinnertime

I'm, overweight, they say I'm a reprobate,

Just because I have a tendency to polish off a plate

And by the way, low-carb? What makes that so smart,

Am I the only one who realizes steaks are full of lard?

Should I buy a StairMaster, go out and jog faster?

It's a disaster, I ain't cardiovascular

That's why I tend to not follow diet plans

Cuz all I want is desserts like ice cream and flan

So I just, throw back a bag of chips and let it rip

Wrap the leftovers for better future gorging

Cuz if I ever stood up, my heart'd attack

I'd throw out my back,

And you know this is fact,

Cheeze Puffs, I'd eat a bunch, even if I could I wouldn't stop,

I'd eat day and night and be full of delight,

And become immobile and sit on my couch

And just be a slouch

What's my name?

I'm, real obese, I'm fat, I'm fat,

That's why they call me real obese, I'm fat, I'm fat,

That's why they call me real obese, I'm fat, I'm fat,

They call me real obese, I'm fat, I'm fat

(yum-yummerz, guess who's fat)

Ham time

Doritos

Dr. Pepper

Rauru, two-thousan'-and-four

I'm hungry for some more


	9. Track 9: Fly Like a Pie

Artist: The Notorious F.A.T.: Flabby-Ass Thug  
Album: Rauru at Large  
Title: Fly Like a Pie  
Real: "Calm Like a Bomb" by Rage Against the Machine

(Rauru sits at a Thanksgiving dinner table, covered with turkey skeletons, dirty dishes, etc. He wears a stained bib.)

(feel the funk fat)

(feel the funk fat)

Aw feel the funk fat!

Feel the funk fat!

Aw feel the funk fat!

Yum yum yum yum yum yum yum chekkitout yum yum yum

I be cookin' bratwursts and 'slaw,

My gastronomy, peerless

Gas grill returns to burn

Like bouillabaisse from Paris

Like veal from the furnace

I was born ravenous

This is the crispy bun

Born of the toaster's sun

Stroll through the kitchen and the dinner's remains

Same stomachs filled to bursting but with different entrées,

This glutton eatin' everything, leave nothin' but stains

Pick a chef on the globe, yet the meal is the same

There's a bun and a cake

A mutton to bake

There's a malt and a lamb

A lean pepper steak

There's a cranberry topping

A rump-roast of pork

A white tablecloth

A spoon and a fork

And the recipe's the rhyme of the unfed

Whatcha bake whatcha bake whatcha bake what?

Whatcha bake whatcha bake whatcha bake what?

Whatcha bake whatcha bake whatcha bake what?

Whatcha bake whatcha bake whatcha bake what?

We're fly like a pie

We fly like a pie

This ain't apocryphal

Feel my critical mass approach the table

Growls of the empty gut

Chow down! as long as able

The antipasto breadstick muncher

Yes I eat toast,

Hope lies in the smoldering char of burnt roast

Yes, back through the kitchen and the dinner's remains

Same stomachs filled to bursting but with different entrées,

This glutton eatin' everything, leave nothin' but stains

Pick a cookbook at home, yes the meal is the same

There's a bowl full of grits

Some corn on the cob

There's a boat full of gravy

The grill for kabobs

There's a scrap, a bone,

The stomachs that groan,

And the stained white bib that be feelin' like home

And the recipe's the rhyme of the unfed

Whatcha bake whatcha bake whatcha bake what?

Whatcha bake whatcha bake whatcha bake what?

Whatcha bake whatcha bake whatcha bake what?

Whatcha bake whatcha bake whatcha bake what?

Fly like a pie

Fly like a pie

Fly like a pie

Fly like a...PIIIIIIIE

Fly like a pie

Fly like a pie

Fly like a pie

Fly like a...PIIIIIIIE

Fly like a pie

There's potatoes and greens

A dinner to forge

There's a mess of leftovers

For refrigerator storage

There's a belch and a dirty plate

On the dining room floor

There's a right to eat light

And a right to gorge

There's potatoes and greens

A dinner to forge

There's a mess of leftovers

For refrigerator storage

There's a belch and a dirty plate

On the dining room floor

There's the right to eat light

And there's the right to gorge


End file.
